#1. This is a true story.
#2. Andy Huber is not a celebrity. He's a jackass I knew from high school who is a bit of a moron.
This story starts when a group of friends and myself are visiting this small town fair north of Kitchener (Ontario, Canada). While there we learn that there is a trivia / reality TV show that has setup a stage and is drawing names for people to take part on the show as contestants.
Our various friends start to wander around the fair and my friend David and I decide to go look for a beer tent or some other source of alcohol since we keep seeing people carrying plastic glasses with beer in it.
Heading westward, following the people with the beer, we pass some tables with more people drinking beer outside of the washrooms. It is there that I recognize Andy Huber (who was my jackass chemistry partner in grade 9). He and his friend were drinking beer and standing near the women's washrooms, shouting insults at a group of young women inside the washroom (and the women are shouting insults back).
I point this out to my friend David. "Hey I know that moron! I had chemistry class with him in grade 9."
"Maybe we should ask him where he got the beer?"
"Naw, he's an asshole, he'd never tell us!"
So we kept going.
It was then that we heard someone shouting into a megaphone "Would Andy Huber please come to the trivia desk? Andy Huber to the trivia desk!" I look back and by this point Andy is half way into the women's washroom, shouting at the women and drinking more whenever he wasn't shouting. His buddy was sitting back laughing at the proceedings. None of them had heard the guy on the megaphone.
I laughed and shook my head. "What a moron!"
So we continued going, rounding a corner and passing by the trivia desk. A rather frantic looking guy is standing there with a camera man behind him and says "Excuse me, are you Andy Huber?"
I laugh. "No, he's around the corner near the women's washroom. He didn't even hear you."
They try the megaphone again and then the trivia guy waves over a security guard. "Can you go with him and point out Andy Huber?"
I smile. "Sure, what the heck," I say.
David and I lead the security guard around the corner back to the women's washroom. Andy Huber's friend is still outside by the table, laughing, and we spot Andy Huber himself inside the washroom door, trying to splash several young women with beer.
We point him out. "That's him."
So the security guard smiles good naturedly and goes over behind Andy Huber. "Excuse me sir would you mind coming with me?"
Andy Huber sees the security guard and apparently thinking he is in trouble, starts trying to push his way further into the women's washroom past the gaggle of women inside - who start pushing him back.
"Sir, you've won a prize. Please come with me," said the security guard, grabbing hold of Andy's arm.
Feeling mischievous I shout into the washroom: "Hey Andy, he's got a really big surprise for you!"
Andy Huber looks my way, there is a spark of recognition and apparently remembers that time in grade 11 I stuck him in a headlock and beat his head repeatedly against a table (long story). He starts to struggle to get away even harder and he and the women fall into a mess on the washroom floor.
The security guard grabs one of Andy Huber's legs and starts pulling him out the door. The moron, panicking, starts kicking the security guard. Hits him really hard in the knee cap.
The security guard starts swearing, but he's not really armed with anything except for his walkie-talkie. He renews his efforts to try and pull Andy Huber out of the women's washroom.
The women meanwhile have now disentangled themselves and stood back up. They are shouting insults at Andy Huber while the security guard tries to pull him out. He manages to get him most of the way out of the door, but Andy Huber latches onto the door-frame and is refusing to let go - and he keeps blindly kicking at the security guard.
My friend David and I are watching all of this with shocked bemusement when a second security guard runs up and starts helping the first. The first thing he does is call for backup on his walkie-talkie.
The two of them try to pry the little twerp's fingers off the door-frame, but every time they get a hand free he just grabs a new spot on the door. Andy's friend is laughing at all of this too (what else are friends for?).
A third and a fourth security guard comes running and together they all pry Andy Huber's fingers off the door and carry him away kicking and screaming at them. The curses and swearing head off in a different direction from the trivia desk for the TV show, as evidently the first guard has changed his mind about where to take the moron.
David and I went back to our search to find a beer tent. We eventually found it and then went to meet up with our friends. The story of Andy Huber's stupidity has since become a private joke within our group of friends.
My only regret is forgetting to take photos of the incident.
