Britney Spears dangles son over balcony

Britney Spears shocked and amazed the world today when she dangled her son out the window of the Paris Hilton Hotel and waved to the crowd of paparazzi.

Then her cellphone rang "Smack my baby one more time" and she dropped her son over the balcony while she rushed to open it and answer a call from Entertainment Tonight.

Her son landed safely in the cushioning busoms of Bette Midler who was just coming out of the hotel. Bette said she knew Paris sometimes had raining cats and dogs, but this is the first she heard of children falling from the Heavens.

Bette Midler promptly gave the boy a real name (instead of the crappy name Britney Spears gave him), treated him like only a real loving mother could and helped him to do his homework at night. The boy grew into a tall respectful man who didn't look at all like his parents and closely resembles Tom Welling (the star of Smallville).

Spears, fuming that she had somehow misplaced her son, went out and got pregnant again by the first drunken rockstar or rapper she could find. Unfortunately she didn't look very far and got Keith Richards. They did some lines of coke and then Keith Richards banged her over the balcony while paparazzi took commemorative photos.

We can only guess what that poor baby will look like...